Happiness is a decision

After a long rest of sleep (coz I forgot to wake up and cook my dinner) now I realized Happiness is a decision..... being happy is for us to find what we want to do and what things we must done...

we always have choices and we always have options to decide on things which will make us happy but sometimes getting to that happiness requires pain and sacrifice....

as Lhuawalhati Bautista quoted on her story : Si Mabuti" (GOOD) those who only experience sadness inside their hearts are the only ones who will experience true happiness.....(Kung sino lamang ang nakakaranas ng lihim na kalungkutan ang syang makakaranas ng tunay na kaligayahan)....

Now I am ready to be happy and must be happy on the way tru....

count happiness today

1. overseas call from someone
2. students who greets me everyday
3. people who care about me
4. supportive friends
5. early morning chat with filipino teachers while waiting for the bus
6. Nice lunch break
7. New found friends in the common room
8. nice 1 hour sleep in fairview school bus after school
9. added credit limit whoa
10. Message of support from my mom
11. a great teaching periods with year 6 geography dance and year 5 dance

the night and the morning

so last night I am sad then when I was sleeping someone calls me and my heart pump with hope again.... then another call overseas i receive that gives my heart a lot of hope and happiness and all my prayers just suddenly answered by that overseas call...... I sleep happily and with full of gladness.... then morning comes I become sad again due so fast to change happiness to sadness.. then my mom send a message of assurance that everything will be ok... so im happy again then problems comes sad again then let see what will happen again may happy again...

so as this moment I am waiting for that overseas call again just if i receive that whatever decision will be make i will be really satisfied and give my decision the hardest decision that I will make to make me feel that I deserve to be.....

so hopefully this January ends with hopes and smile in my face....

This how you feels very empty

Just now i update my emo blog thingy and aiyooo maybe this is the way I am gonna express myself and I know someone will read it (and hope they give comments nor leave message)...


last week is a happy week I plan for the unplanned things in school and what will I do in Chinese New Year Holidays.... then I come up with a nice wonderful plan.....

I Finish school works and still in progress to finish all my work....

Holidays I planed to go to Jakarta with some important person but so sad I prayed and prayed and prayed that we all can go together but alot of hindrances...

1. visa problems
2. consent to someone

and end up canceled in the last minute... and it was yesterday Sunday and i was not in the mood to talk to anyone coz I am very upset.....

the most important Chinese new year dinner was like a dream come true but suddenly just ouchhhhhh i hate it I feel very upset and down and feeling grrrr to myself I can go but someone cannot so no sense at all going to my so far liked city....

and then they just say next time but for sure there is no more next time by the time Chinese new year I maybe in a different place and we cant see each other again so EMO....
Then I just think to call overseas to someone again but I didnt call coz I know once we talk I will go more emo again...

then I wear this unfortunale shirt that makes me more frustrated... last week just heard the news my sister will get married so soon and I dont even know lucky i called my mom coz I will go Jakarta then suddenly she says.. your sister comes from New York and where going to the tailor for the wedding and the wedding is on the 19th April (I was shock coz we are just like all together last month Christmas and New year and they never say a word to me I feel dumb and upset) then more upset I cant go back home to my moms 60th birthday coz i have something to do for work so just like that makes me feel more upset and frustrated....

I hate January from the start of the year 2009 everything went wrong from the morning I opened my eyes to the night I closed it for sleeping... worst I think I need to go 2 surgery my doctors recommend it but I am scared so I am still thinking if I go or not... aiyooo until here is the emo,,,,

but in school i am happy very happy coz I see the students but for sure once they go back home ill keep thinking again of what i feel empty and incomplete haiyzzzzz